I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
