I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
