I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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