so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
