finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
