Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
