naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize