That's intense
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize