Got a toothbrush?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
