in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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