The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize