I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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