Me too!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
