So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
