You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
