Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
