I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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