dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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