She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
