I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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