can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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