Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He shit in the fireplace
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
