I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
