I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i already hear my dad disowning me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
