susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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