So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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