Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
