Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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