Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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