His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
