your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We got so high we made milksteak
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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