I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
