Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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