I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
