dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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