K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize