Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
