it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
