man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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