you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize