maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Of course I have a pirate flag
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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