It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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