I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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