i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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