He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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