I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
