Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
