he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
