JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
