Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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