I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize