u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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