We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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