That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
