No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it because I queefed?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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