dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
