Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
