how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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