we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
