It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
