I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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